When My Voice Disappeared

There was a time when all I wanted in the world was to be a singer. Music school was where I would begin my dream — a place where I thought I could finally become who I was meant to be. But instead of finding freedom in my voice, I found silence.

No matter how hard I practiced, there were days my voice simply wouldn’t come out or it would sound awful. My throat would tighten, my chest would ache, and it felt like someone was pressing a hand over my mouth and squeezing my throat from the inside. I didn’t know it then, but my body was holding stories I hadn’t yet faced. Trauma, grief, and years (lifetimes) of swallowing my truth had built a wall between me and the sound that wanted to come through me.

My voice teacher saw through me that day — because instead of pushing me harder to sing my scales, she asked me to close my eyes. She led me through an inner child meditation, one that unexpectedly opened a door to a younger version of myself. There, in that quiet moment, I met the little girl who had learned that speaking up was unsafe. That being loud meant being too much. That love might be withdrawn if I dared to express my full truth.

The pain I felt in my throat wasn’t just physical; it was emotional. It was generations of silence and self-protection woven into my body.

From that moment on, everything changed. I realized that my voice wasn’t broken — it was buried. My body had been protecting me the only way it knew how. What I thought was “failure” was actually wisdom. My body was still saying: No. It’s not safe to speak.

Even now, all these years later, I am still learning to free my voice. The throat chakra — the energetic bridge between truth and expression — continues to be a deep well of work for me. Every time I allow myself to cry, scream, sing, or speak a truth I once silenced, I feel another layer release.

The dream to sing never left me. It just evolved, and now my work is not only to reclaim my own voice but to help others find theirs — through movement, sound, and the body’s own language of energy.

Because the truth is this:Until we learn to listen to what the body is holding, it will keep holding us back from what we came here to express.